Being the grown up
“Someone has to be grown up around here, and I’m afraid it’s us” was a comment made by Libby Purves recently in an article about the pressure on children to grown up too fast.
I couldn’t agree more. By ‘us’, of course, she means parents. Whilst my work with parents only extends to those with under-two’s, I believe that - whatever the age of their children - parents really do need to grow up. An essential part of growing up is to accept responsibility.
Responsibility is never going to be a popular word. For parents struggling with a stressful job and overstretched finances, I know that it probably sounds like a lot of hard work. You need to have energy to say ‘no’ to your child. Commitment and patience are essential if you’re to be a fully involved player in your child’s life. Above all, it involves having to give up that coveted position of being children ourselves. Little wonder that abdication of parental responsibility appears to be a much easier option.
Becoming a parent means setting aside “self-hood” and coming to terms with “parenthood.” It means that children should be allowed to be, well, children. Above all, being a parent means getting closer to your children’s lives, rather than taking a step back.
Ó Christine Meadows