Coping with Moving House

Expert view recently supplied to Practical Parenting magazine 

Moving house can be a difficult time under any circumstances.  However, if your move involves a young child, then it’s likely that you’ll feel under even more stress.  You may wonder whether you’re doing the right thing by moving to a new area, leaving behind the supportive network of friends and family.  You may also worry that your toddler will struggle to cope with the break in routine inevitably involved in a house move.  Then, there are the logistics of moving day itself.

Mother of three, Alison, moved house when her daughter was two years old as a consequence of her husband serving in the Armed Forces. Alison put a great deal of thought into how she should prepare for the move.

• She talked openly about the move with her daughter in advance.  Packing up belongings was also made to feel like a game rather than a chore.  It’s a good idea to give young children a box in which they can pack their toys.  Alison could also have given her daughter a small bag for her favourite toys, so that she would be close to familiar objects. 
• She encouraged her daughter to feel excited about the new house. Before moving day, they visited the house and Alison let her be the first to cross the threshold and explore.  Allowing her to choose her own room and taking her to choose paint to redecorate also added to her daughter’s feelings that the move was a good event, rather than something to be feared.  It’s a good idea to think about other ways of making the new house seem more exciting.  Perhaps it has a big garden or it’s near to a great play area.

• Alison also asked her parents to help out on moving day. Arranging for friends or relatives to look after young children is a really good idea.  Not only can they be looked after safely, but they have their own grown ups devoted to keeping them entertained.  That allows you to get on with the job in hand, without distractions.

Alison was concerned, however, that although she’d prepared for the move itself, she hadn’t really thought through what would happen afterwards. The situation was made worse when her husband was deployed abroad a few weeks’ later, causing her daughter to worry that ‘daddy had been left behind’.  Thinking about what happens after moving day is just as important as preparing for the day itself.

• A young child will inevitably miss the familiarity of their old house and friends. It’s important to recognise this.  If it’s possible to visit the old house and friends, then this can allow a child to feel more settled.  This certainly helped in Alison’s case.  If the move is cross country, however, you can help by encouraging your child to keep in contact with friends from their old neighbourhood.  Before long, they’ll have made a whole new set of friends.

• It’s easy to become completely focussed on unpacking and sorting out the new house in the days and weeks that follow a house move.  It’s important to try to break from routine as little as possible.  The house may be different, but routines don’t have to be.  It also helps to set aside some time for fun activities, like discovering the nearest playground or swimming pool.

© Christine Meadows